Adapting to Change

There are few things in life that are certain, but it is certain that all things change. I'm not someone that has spent my life embracing change (Patrick, I know you're chuckling), but I do recognize the inevitability of change. The constant changes that force us to learn how to adapt. So, I'm sharing some lessons I've learned recently:

Falling Down and Getting Up
Patrick had a nasty fall in early September. We were in the backyard and while I had my back turned (cleaning up dog poo, nonetheless) he caught his foot on the brick and down he went. Falling for ALS patients is common, the balance is off, muscles are not working quite right and small obstacles become huge when you have to maneuver around them. We spent about six hours in the emergency room while they ran a variety of tests to make sure that his ribs, head etc. were not broken or worse.  In the end he came out of it with some pretty bruised ribs, a black eye and an extremely sore/tender arm on which he fell. (The ego was a little bruised up too...)

So, this is what I learned:

Falling hurts... For all of us, falling down hurts - the body is sore, stiff and generally scraped up because we put our hands out to brace ourselves. For an ALS patient ,they have all these things, but are further compounded by the fact that they can't move as easily. Additionally, he couldn't get his hands out to brace himself, so... he hit the ground hard.  Again falling hurts.

The ER is an interesting place... I think I've been to the ER four or five times in my life and frankly I could live the rest of my life happily without visiting one again. It is a sad place where you spend a great deal of time waiting.

I can't pick Patrick up... When Patrick fell, Caitlin and I tried to get him up, but with no success. I wound up running to the neighbor who came over and helped me get him inside to the couch. Thank you Jim! Anyway, I realize that there would be great challenges ahead and that I needed to learn to manage these crisis's better. As fate would have it, I read a blog of another ALS patient (Susan's Steps, www.susansteps.com) that week and she had also taken a fall and her husband called 911 - the fire department came over and lifted her up. It never occurred to me to call 911 but apparently it is common for them to come out in these situations. I used to have a boss that called these learning moments "ah ha" moments - I'd say this was a little of an "ah ha" and "duh" moment for me...

Installation of the Lift

The lift was installed in early September, it took about two weeks for the job to be completed. The house was tore up for quite a while, which is not one of my favorite things. It was also during the time of Patrick's fall and started immediately upon our return from our Route 66 trip.  It was a bit overwhelming for a while. The dust has settled now and the lift is in our entry way, with a door added upstairs into our bathroom to allow for getting into the upstairs. It works pretty well and it's always a curiosity for folks when they come over. 

So, this is what I learned...

Fast Enough... You just can't get these things done fast enough, I really struggled with the torn up house for two weeks.

When it Rains it Pours... I think I reached my max with the installation, Patrick falling and trying to make arrangements for Patrick's 50th Birthday.  Overwhelmed is an accurate description.

Lifts are S...L...O...W... Our nephew, Don, recommended that we have appropriate elevator music playing while Patrick uses it. Our sister-in-law, Debbie, calls it the "Pat in a Box." Just for translation - Pat=Patrick (only his family calls him Pat). Pat Kennealy offered to put a Bimford 3000 on it to speed it up - intriguing but I'll have to say no...

Cleaning Out the Work Office
Patrick took a leave of disability from Blue Shield the first week of October. My perception of Patrick, the worker, was pretty limited and frankly I never really gave it much thought. He kept his work at work and didn't bring it home with him. He has talked of people at work that he obviously liked, but my interaction with anything work related over the past 30 years has been minimal - except for a brief stint where we worked at the same place (that was a very LONG time ago.) So, we set out the Saturday before his final day to clear out his office.

I've been to his office maybe a total of three times over his 11 years with Blue Shield and they were brief in nature. With two empty bags we headed into Patrick's office to clean it out. We started with his drawers, where I cleared out the personal items and threw away paperwork. I found this tremendously moving; I rifled through his desk and cabinets removing the usual work stuff, as well as his awards, certifications, notes, and cards. On his monitor was a well wish from Vaughn and Tina - his co-workers. Although, he didn't say it, I know that it must have been difficult for him to close this chapter in his life.

So, this is what I learned...

Work... Patrick had a work life outside of the Timmons' household that was rich with friends and co-workers. It's not that I didn't know that, but this activity really brought this home for me.

Humility... Patrick is a humble man, he took a few items that had some meaning for him, but left the rest. I wanted to keep some stuff (yeah, I snuck some stuff) but he said let it go, it's time to move on.

The roles we play... It was a reminder to me that as well as you know people, they have other roles they play; we are mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, but also friends, co-workers, bosses, subordinates and so many other identities.  We are so much more than one role, instead we are multi-faceted human beings playing a variety of roles.

Neurons and Pathways

The Brain

Christian started kindergarten this year and we've enjoyed hearing about school life from his perspective. His teacher has a degree in science, therefore many of the class lessons are scientific which appears to be absolutely fascinating to Christian. He has very animated discussions about neurons and pathways in the brain. Apparently the science lesson he is most intrigued with is about what happens to the brain as a child learns and grows. A quote from my scientific grandson - "As I learn new things in school, the neurons come together and create new pathways." (this is done with some pretty impressive hand gestures). These discussions can continue for quite a while and he seems to have a real interest in how the brain works.


So, this is what I've learned...

Simplicity... From our discussions with Christian, the brain seems so simple, but in reality we know so little about the brain and how it works. However, I think sometimes we make things more complex than they need to be - which leads me to my next thought...



Neurons Together

Neurons Apart

Hope for the Future... There is hope in and with the next generation.  With youthful curiosity, someday ALS will be cured - this I believe. I love the thought that Christian may turn his scientific interest and curiosity into knowledge and work to help find a cure. The future is full of endless possibilities. 
 
And so...
Life is changing in our house, we don't have much choice in the matter. We work to find the peace, humor and joy in the day and do our best to adapt to the changes. I tire of life's lessons, but recognize their importance. Although I'm hopeful for the future, I think the next generation just may find that ALS cure.
I hope life's changes are manageable and that you are enjoying this lovely fall weather.