PSA: Handicap Spots

About a month ago Patrick, Caitlin and I headed to San Francisco to take a tour of SFSU

SFSU - Patrick & Caitlin

(Caitlin is attending SFSU in the fall). Taking day trips even when they are a few hours away, requires planning. There is equipment to prepare and pack, timing of food and potty breaks and extra time to assure parking and getting through the campus using the disability access. You can't plan for everything, but I do my best to be prepared and limit the amount of surprises - with ALS, surprises are not usually a good thing.

SFSU is a beautiful campus and it was an amazing blue sky day. The tour was pretty uneventful except that I was not feeling well (menopause, need I say more). After the tour we headed home and on the way home we made a restroom stop.

Just a side item, when we need to use a public restroom it's a bit of a scavenger hunt. The first thing we look for is a store or restaurant that we know or suspect has a private bathroom. We go in together and it's so much easier to use a private bathroom that locks. We have, in a pinch, used the women's restroom but it's not preferred. The second item is to find a van handicap spot near the restroom. Fulfilling both these requirements is not as easy as it sounds. 

On this day we pulled into a strip mall and found a sandwich shop we knew to have private restrooms and we were fortunate enough to quickly find a van handicap spot. Because I wasn't feeling well, I said to Patrick is it ok if I use the restroom first, than I'll come get you. He said fine, no problem. So, I jumped out of the van and hurried in to use the restroom. When I returned there was a car double parked behind our van and as I approached an angry lady (I use the term "lady" loosely) yelled to me from her car window.. here was our exchange

"Did you know that was a handicap spot?" Lady from her car window

"Yes, we have a handicap placard."

"I don't see it." That's when I realized I forgot to put the placard in the window.

"I forgot to put it out, but we have one."

"Are you leaving?"

"No, my husband still needs to use the restroom."

"You don't look very handicap to me." she responds

"My husband is in a wheelchair." At this point, I'm starting to twitch, it's been a long day and frankly I'm not in the mood.

She finally leaves in a huff and I take Patrick inside to use the restroom. When I got him inside I looked at him and said "I understand that she's upset because she felt we shouldn't be using the handicap spot and I forgot to put up the handicap placard.  But I think I'd like to strangle her." - Yes, it had been a really long day for me. It's probably better that I didn't know it at the time, but the lady had actually gone over to Patrick's window and tapped on it while I was in the restroom. You would think after seeing him she would have moved on, but apparently not. Patrick, of course, couldn't respond to her tapping and Caitlin said she was so shocked she didn't know what to say. Like I said, better off I didn't know this at the time. Just for the record, if I'm not with Patrick or he doesn't need to use the restroom I always use a regular parking spot.

I've thought about this incident off and on for the past month so I know that it affected me. There is nothing a group of ALS patients and caregivers complain about more than disability parking. Because of this experience and others, I have a list of suggestions for disability parkers and non-disability parkers:

For my fellow disabled placard parkers:

1. We are all in this world together, just trying to get by. You don't know my story and I don't know yours, when you see someone using the handicap spot without a placard. Let's start with they probably forgot to put it up, not immediately determine they are evil handicap spot stealers.
2. There is a difference between regular handicap spots and van handicap spots. The van spots have an extended side so that a ramp can come down for wheelchair access. The only spots Patrick and I can use are van spots. So, if you don't need a van spot and there are regular handicap spots available - please leave the van spot for someone else. Van spots are usually clearly labelled "van" right under the handicap sign.
3. When you park next to a van spot be careful not to park over the extended side area. I can't tell you how many times this has happened and if it's too far into this area, the van spot becomes unusable for us.
4. If you have a disabled placard for someone in your family, but they are not with you. Please don't use a handicap spot, there really are people who need them. 

For my fellow drivers without a placard:

1. Firstly, and I say this with love, count your blessings. Since taking this ALS journey I will tell you that IT IS more difficult and challenging to be out and about with a disabled person. Please respect the handicap spots they are not temporary parking and/or a pickup location.
2. Don't park over the line or leave shopping carts in a handicap spot. We have friends that are disabled drivers in their case, if there is a cart in the handicap spot they are not able to move it.

Just a couple thoughts:

There was a news article about disability placards in California. The statistic is that 1 in 8 drivers now have a handicap placard. Nope, I'm not kidding. Here is the news cast discussing the issue: News Ten: One Out of Every 8. I find it hard to believe that 1 out of every 8 drivers requires a disability placard. I'm not sure how to fix this, but at least I know why its often so difficult to find a handicap spot.

I know that there are disabilities that are not as apparent as others, so not "looking" disabled does not necessarily mean that a person is not disabled. However, we've all had the occasion of someone jumping out of a car with a handicap placard looking completely healthy. I'll just say this, if you don't need a placard, for goodness sake be grateful and enjoy the extra steps, it's good for you.

On a final note, as I said before we are all in this world together and yelling at someone when you really don't know what is going on is such negative energy. Remember "The Walk a Mile in His Moccasins Poem" - the last stanza of the poem goes like this.

Remember to walk a mile in his moccasins

And remember the lessons of humanity taught to you by your elders.

We will be known forever by the tracks we leave

In other people's lives, our kindnesses and generosity.

Thanks for allowing me to rant... I hope this finds you without a disability placard and enjoying a great Father's Day. Some recent photos:

Family Visit

Christian Sharing his Mayflower Book Report

Story time

A nice day before the heat