Loss and Connection

Eclipse

On my morning walk, I stopped at the Aquatics Center parking lot to conquer a Pokemon gym - yes, I enjoy catching critters, hatching eggs and fighting gyms in the virtual world. While I sat and was just getting ready to leave, a car drove up right beside me. Bummer, I figured they were Pokemon players that wanted to take over my newly conquered gym. The SUV stopped and a lady got out with her phone in hand. Bummer... We made eye contact and much to my surprise she began to cry and very quickly started telling me about her son, who was missing and had not taken his medication.. She spent about five minutes describing her son who had schizophrenia and her concern that he would do harm to himself in his current state. I wanted to tell her something to console her, some words of wisdom to make it better, but I had nothing. She left as quickly as she came with someone calling her to say they found her son - off she went.

It was such a brief moment and yet I've spent the past few hours thinking about it. The truth is I've been thinking about how sorrow unites us all. We mourn for the hurricane victims in Texas and Florida; and the earthquake victims in Mexico. We are miles away and yet we are greatly saddened by the devastation and human loss. We are all connected. I couldn't help this lady, but I could listen. I don't know what it would be like in her situation, but I had empathy for her feelings and felt her pain. I hope she found her son and she's able to get him the care he needs, but I doubt I'll ever hear the end of her story.

The truth is I believe our greatest connection to one another is not happiness or shared joy instead it's our connection during sorrow and grief.

"Grief and sadness knit two hearts in closer bonds than happiness ever can; and common sufferings are far stronger than common joys" Alphonse de Lamartine

Perhaps I've been thinking about this lately because we got word of an old friend's passing and another we lost to ALS.

We received a call from Mary Ellen Webb, an old friend who let us know that her husband, Russell, had passed away. This came as a shock to us, Russell was one of the first people Patrick met when he went to work at Electronic Data Systems (EDS) back in the early 1990s. He and his wife are such kind people it really saddened us to hear of his passing. Here is a link to his obituary
.

Cheryl & Mike Strella

Additionally, on August 31st we lost a fellow pALS, Cheryl Strella. Cheryl was a strong advocate for ALS patients and traveled to D.C. to draw attention to the needs of pALS and their families. Cheryl was a nurse and later an associate professor at Sacramento City College. Because life has it's full circle moments, one of the hospice nurses that cared for Cheryl had been one of her students. Here is a link to her obituary - she lived a full life, albeit too short. 

Cheryl's husband Mike and I have shared concerns and stories in support group and an occasional instant message - my prayers and thoughts are with him and his daughters.

If there is an upside to my recent thoughts on loss, its this... even with all the division today, there is so much more that unites us, than divides us. We are all connected through our shared humanity.

I hope this day finds you well - the weather is improving (here in Roseville) and my walks are much more pleasant.